We continue to publish the work of Vladimir Nikolayevich Kosenko, an urologist, a specialist of the highest qualification category and Honored Doctor of Ukraine.
Part III
SOCIAL HYGIENE OF MARRIAGE
Unfortunately, everything ends in this world. Philosophers say that everything passes and this too shall pass. Everything passes - sadness, joy, etc... People always wonder on what should be done in order to keep their love feelings, and how to protect the sexual relationships in marriage from becoming a tedious fulfillment of marriage duties. The matinee idol, Commissioner Kataniya from the old movie "Spruit" said: "Everything that I once excited, forced to break the walls and perform feats, has turned into something that infuriates me most - in my wife". Truly - from love to hate there is only one step.
There is a joke about the Gingerbread who went on a business trip, and his wife the Bun has cheated on him with Mr. Sausage. So, that is why the Gingerbread does not like hot dogs. Honestly, men more laugh at this joke than women. In world statistics, men have sex in two or three times more often than women. I wonder only - with whom?!!
Love is the most mysterious of all feelings. The world of love is inexhaustible, but each of us loves in his own way and every love seems like the rest, but it is still unique. Love, like Phoenix, flashes, burns, turns into ashes and resurrect in different ways. There are no uniform recipes and template solutions for love. When a person is in love, then his or her weakness becomes courageousness, meanness becomes generousness and closedness becomes sociability. Alexander Blok wrote that only a person in love can be considered a truly human being. He was supported by A.P. Chekhov, who wrote that love is given to a person to know of what he must be. Love is a normal state, everything else is abnormal. Kirovograd poetess Irina Leon wrote as follows:
Love is pretense and deception
Love is like a moon eclipse.
Love is like the edge of lacerations
Love is like gratuitous fun.
You shall not look into her eyes
You will not see repentance in them,
Love is like a thunderstorm
With a set of flashes of desire.
Of course, love is a flash, it is a psychological explosion. But I have a question: what should we do when the love dust settles? Love begins to fade slowly. Men usually go out faster, so it is a catastrophe or even the end of the world for women whose love is fading not so fast.
How to avoid the fading of feelings? In my opinion, you need to start at the age when you can get married. Each of us experienced youthful first love, but not every youthful love resulted in marriage. It is hard to believe in the fidelity of a young man of 18 years old, who, in principle, likes women in general. As a rule, early marriages are the most short-lived. From the above, it follows an AXIOM 1 – Do not hurry up to get married when you feel the love fire for the first time.
Family life problems begin with a conflict of ideas. After all, young people came from different families; they have formed different tastes and habits. The mutual adaptation is needed. Socks are thrown in the wrong place, a wet towel is not hung in the bathroom, the water-closet lid is not closed, the table is set in a wrong way, a long conversation on the phone and many other little things can cause conflict and give the first crack in the relationships. AXIOM 2 – if you want to be happy, learn to forgive. Do not shoot from the hip, do not see the momentary bad only, but remember all the good that was between you. The good things always prevail over bad ones. Life paradox – if there are tons of different cosmetics on the woman’s face, this is normal thing, but if a man comes home slightly smeared with lipstick, this is a disaster.
AXIOM 3 – Do not consider that it is shameful for you to apologize to your soul mate once again. It is necessary to follow an unwritten rule – a woman is wrong only in three cases, but no one knows in which ones. Therefore, a woman is always right. No need to argue with a woman, it's easier to agree, and then do it your own way. – Dear, even if I'm wrong, you could at least apologize to me!
– I will tell you, people, wise words,
I will tell you a male vision:
If your woman is not right,
It is better to ask her forgiveness
AXIOM 4 – For men: flowers must not be considered a waste of money. Just give your woman flowers! Extend your candy-bouquet period, make it eternal! You should love your woman so hard that even your neighbors nervously went out to smoke on the balcony after each your love session.
AXIOM 5
Talk about love to loved ones,
Don't skimp on words for them.
Believe that you are needed for each other,
The whole world is for you two.
The more you talk about love to your woman, the more you will believe in it. These are the distant bastions of the culture of sexual relations.
Now let us come down to earth from the clouds, move away from the highest spiritual values, and let’s consider the harmony of sexual life. Lenin was also outraged by the "glass of water" theory. The essence of the theory is that some people think that satisfying sexual desire is as simple as drinking a glass of water. But it's just a rude animal instinct! After all, intimacy is not only sexual intercourse, but also those spiritual feelings that increase the psycho-erotic mood. Everything is important here – talk to each other about everything, take a walk in the park or in nature, or even just holding hands to combine your bioenergy. Feel your partner and make sure you two are united body.
It is not enough to know the technique of sex thoroughly, it is much more important to know the culture of sexual relations. Therefore, it is very important for a just-married couple to have at least basic knowledge in sexology. Sexual ignorance must be eliminated from school, secondary and higher education institutions. It's great that family planning centers, where experienced doctors give the right information to future spouses, have recently appeared. This information includes sex education for young people and counseling on family, marriage, pregnancy and motherhood issues. They may also examine the spouses suffering from infertility and provide qualified treatment for the problems found.
